HIJACK

January 2006 - present: South Carolina inmate Jonathan Lee Riches has become a celebrity of sorts by filing more than 1,000 frivolous lawsuits while in jail. Some highlights:

* August 2007: Sued baseball player Barry Bonds for $42 million for, amongst other things, selling steroids to nuns, giving mustard gas to Saddam Hussien and bench-pressing Riches "to show off in front of his ball park buddies." Hank Aaron's bat, which Riches claimed Bonds used to crack the Liberty Bell, was also named as a defendant in the suit.
* September 2007: Sued Elvis Presley for stealing his sideburns, selling him tainted poultry and being in cahoots with Osama Bin Laden. Riches also claims that rap producer Suge Knight hung him from a Econo Lodge balcony with Vanilla Ice and that Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch harbors Hitler's army.
* September 2007: Claiming that he is a model and actor who's starred in movies like The Karate Kid, Pee Wee’s Big Adventure and the Paris Hilton sex tape, Riches sued rapper 50 Cent for $35 billion, charging that the musician stole his lyrics and forced him to harass '80s groups Bananarama and Tears for Fears.
* And the piece de resistance: in March 2006, Riches sued 57 pages' worth of defendants -- including President George W. Bush, Pope Benedict XVI, Bill Gates, Queen Elizabeth, the Gambino crime family, Three Mile Island, Burt Reynolds, Google, the Salvation Army, the Wu-Tang Clan, the Magna Carta, "tsunami victims," the Kremlin, Nostradamus, the Lincoln Memorial, Nordic gods, Pizza Hut, the European Union, the Methodist Church, Viagra, "ninja samurai fighters" and the planet Pluto -- for an unspecified dollar amount for an unspecified civil rights offense.

In March 2008, the Northern District of Georgia made it difficult for Riches to file such frivolous lawsuits by requiring him to agree to be prosecuted for false statements before he submits, but that hasn't stopped him from filing wacky suits in other districts across the country.

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“A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.”
-Jeremy Clarkson

I'm on narcotics

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really guys? would i title a thread in third person??

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“A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.”
-Jeremy Clarkson

well maybe not...

but the narcotics bit was convincing.

whichever of you little moderators keeps retitling is the obvious doper

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“A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.”
-Jeremy Clarkson

lol
it's not me.

All I can say is wow..............

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Is everybody there? You're all fired.

I think its great. We need the court system to become COMPLETELY overloaded with frivolous lawsuits so that someone enacts laws to stop bullshit like the lady that spilled coffee on her (and won 2 million!), or that fat turd who sued McDonalds for "making him fat".